Feeling Safety Within Is Easier Than We THINK
One Conscious Breath: Issue 20
We don't think our way into feeling safe within. We feel our way there.
"The very thing we think is protecting us is actually keeping us stuck in outdated survival strategies. We can update them now ~ One Conscious Breath at a time."
And it's easier than you think….
Before we begin, I invite you to take one conscious breath.
Feel the cool air as it enters your nostrils. Follow it as deeply as it goes into your body.
And then exhale. Out of your mouth. Slowly. Elongate the release as much as you can. And as you exhale, feel your shoulders drop. Feel your jaw soften. Feel your feet firmly on the floor.
Now pause.
Give yourself permission to simply be. In this silence. For just one conscious breath. And then gently meet whatever arises ~ whatever has been waiting underneath all the inner and outer noise ~ for a moment of stillness like this one.
And when you’re ready ~ let’s begin.
Feeling safe within is easier than we think.
Not effortless, because it does require awareness. And then courage. Because updating what once kept us safe can feel, at first, like removing the very thing that's always protected us. Our nervous system needed to learn early on that feeling emotions were safe. And if it didn't, this may go against much of what we learned kept us feeling safe within, in our relationships and in the world. But it can be updated now.
It requires a drop from our brain into our body and our heart. Not acquiring more information nor more analysis. But more feeling. More connecting to the very thing that may not have been safe for us to feel connected to at an earlier time in our life. It's a nervous system update to the present ~ from relying on what protected us then to feeling into and privileging our fully resourced core Self now.
Trusting that we, ourselves, have more capacity to be with whatever arises within us in the present moment when we are connected to our core Self.
Many of my clients are deeply insightful. They're able to articulate exactly why they feel the way they feel. They see their childhood patterns and accurately name their attachment style. They even know about the vagus nerve and how it gets wired. And yet, oftentimes, they continue to feel as unsafe as they did before they knew all of this information. Why is this? It's definitely not for a lack of knowledge or even a real desire to change their thinking and behaviors.
This isn't a failure on their part. It's simply something most of us were never taught: knowing and feeling live in two different places ~ one in the mind and the other in the body. Most of the time, feeling safe within happens in the body first. And then sends the signal to our brain that we are safe. As hard as we try, we cannot think our way into feeling safe.
Our brain is not to be privileged. Nor is it the enemy. It works exactly as designed ~ to protect us from every threat it can imagine ~ real, remembered or potential. And it's brilliant. However, brilliance at protecting us can be faulty at connecting us. The very thing that kept us feeling safe when we were little, can be the very thing keeping us disconnected as adults ~ to our own self, first and foremost.
It's in our capacity now to update this protection to the present, instead of it continuing to signal a threat that we have already survived, or one we now have more resources to navigate as adults.
My wish for you is to not simply read these words, but to open and allow them to sink into your body, to synthesize with your heart and your being. One Conscious Breath at a time.
If you've been with me through the last three letters ~ safety within, safety with others, and safety in the world ~ this is the thread connecting all three. There are plenty of techniques out there telling you what to do in order to be more ~ more successful, more admired, more followed, more powerful, more adored ~ many of them stemming from gaining something from the outside. And then hopefully, maybe, finally you'll feel more worthy, more deserving, more safe, on the inside.
This isn't just another soundbite or technique to make you feel like you're enough for others or the world.
This is an offering for you to finally re-connect with your fully resourced, core Self. And from this place of feeling internal safety, you will be able to connect more authentically with others and in the world. Because, if we don't feel safe within, we cannot feel safe opening and authentically being with others. And as adults, we have the capacity to return to feeling safe within. Even for just One Conscious Breath. You deserve to feel safe reconnecting with your own core Self, first and foremost. And your loved ones and our world needs you, all of you, now more than ever.
While our brain wants a plan: tell me what to do and I'll do it. Our body already knows the way. And the work is simply remembering. And then returning to trusting the inherent wisdom of our body.
A Practice for This Week
The next time you catch yourself trying to think your way into feeling safe within ~ analyzing, explaining, attempting to understand why you're feeling a certain way ~ pause.
Take one conscious breath. Bring your awareness away from the thought, away from your mind and drop into your body. Do you notice any tension or constriction? If so, use your brain to work for you here, ask the question: is this nervous system response necessary and helpful in this moment in time? If the answer is no, if you discover it's not helpful to be braced, elongate your exhale. Feel your shoulders drop. And your jaw soften. Invite safety in the present moment back into your body. Release. For this one conscious breath.
Every conscious breath you take in and release is rewiring and updating your body and brain into safety in the present moment. Simple. One conscious breath at a time.
Feeling safe within is easier than we think. Not because it's easy but because the only resource we had to feel safe when we were little is outdated. Returning to feeling safe in our body first and foremost sends the signal to our brain that we are, in fact, safe. And when we bring our knowing we are safe with actually feeling safe in our body, in the present, we live in more coherence, clarity and alignment: mind and body working together.
It begins with just one conscious breath. And the courageous willingness to feel safe in the present moment.
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I'd love to hear what comes up for you this week when you bring your awareness into your body. Comment below and let me know.
With love and One Conscious Breath,
Jody
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