From Survival To Safety ~ One Conscious Breath At A Time

One Conscious Breath: Issue 10

One Conscious Breath: Issue 10

Fear will win out over love, every single time, unless and until, we feel safe. Not just a semblance of safety. A felt-sense of safety, within our own bodies.

Eye-level view of a serene therapy room with comfortable seating and calming decor

I’ve spent over 20 years being with people in their most vulnerable states. I’ve talked, explained, and listened to stories that are unbearable for anyone to hold alone. And through all of my education and trainings, I’ve come to understand the single most important factor that allows people to move from surviving into thriving. And it’s not what is said.

It’s what is felt.

It’s an embodied, felt-sense of safety.

Not just creating a semblance of safety.

And this is an important distinction.

Because people create semblances of safety all the time: a well-paying job, a house, a marriage. And yet, if our safety relies on any of these outside factors, when one of them goes, and they will, our sense of safety is shattered. And the reverse is equally true: just because we may not have all these things in order yet, doesn’t mean we can't establish a felt sense of safety within first.

And if we don’t feel safe within, we cannot establish a sense of safety with others. And if we don’t feel safe being with others, fear will win out over love, every single time.

This is why my newsletter is called One Conscious Breath. I am not asking you to upend your entire way of being all at once. What I am asking, and what I am offering, is for you to take one conscious breath at a time. To feel into what it feels like to return to the natural rhythm of your body. Just for one breath. To notice how deep or shallow it goes into your body. To notice where there is flow and where there may be bracing. One breath at a time.

This is how we begin to return to feeling safe in our bodies.

 I often hear that some people don’t feel safe following their breath in their body. And while this may be true, it is also a signal pointing them directly to being stuck and disconnected. If the breath isn’t the easiest entry point for you, I encourage you to explore your other senses and feel what feels the safest, easiest way back in. Maybe it’s through music or sound. Maybe it’s a calming scent of lavender or jasmine. Maybe it’s a certain texture that feels soft on your skin. Or simply watching a beautiful sunset. Get curious and find what feels right for you. There's no right or wrong way to do this. It's an exploration of what works best for you.

Returning safety to your own body is a slow, intentional process. And it’s conscious. And anything you do with conscious awareness will be accelerated. With each intentional move you make, you are returning to your body. And if you are reading this, right here, right now, you are safe. Safe to return to your body. You may not have historically felt safe to be embodied. Our nervous system and defenses work brilliantly and beautifully to disconnect us when we are under immense threat. The problem is never that we disconnected, that is our survival instinct, doing what it does best.

The work now, after any immediate threat is over, is to actively return our body back into safety. Back into flexibility. Back into flow.

I'd love to know ~  what brings you back to your body when you've drifted away from it? Click here and let me know.

And if you feel moved to share in the comments, I welcome that too. It is deeply powerful knowing we are not doing this alone.

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With love and One Conscious Breath,

Jody

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**P.S.** — If you're new here: I'm Jody Allen, a somatic psychotherapist in San Francisco and Berkeley. These letters are where neuroscience meets the heart, the foundation of a book in progress. If someone forwarded this to you and it resonated, you can subscribe at jodyallenlcsw.substack.com. It's free. It always will be.