Paradigm Shift

What if I tell you we all have it backwards? Upside down?

Living our lives from the perspective of doing instead of being.

We do, in order to have. And the very last thing we allow for, or focus on, is our being.

And so, we are racing through our lives attempting to do more, accomplish more, in order to have more - but more what? More money? More prestige? More adoration from others? What is it we are actually attempting to soothe, accumulate and consume? At what point will it ever be enough? And, perhaps most importantly, what is it that is actually driving all of this doing?

I have seen firsthand the burnout of moving through life from the perspective of doing. So many highly talented and successful people wonder why they continue to feel dissatisfied when they have accomplished all of the goals they set out to achieve. On the surface, it doesn't make sense - they've graduated at the top of their class, received the ideal job offer, climbed the corporate ladder, got married, had kids (or didn't). Check. Check. Check. Check. And check. It's not for a lack of drive. The effort is definitely there. Although, it's focused on the external instead of the internal. When we move through the world with our focus outward, we are bound to eventually feel dissatisfied and burnout. We reach the pinnacles of our careers and what is expected from us while still longing for a deeper sense of connection, belonging and purpose.

The perspective I offer clients is to shift the paradigm. What does that even mean? The work I offer is internally directed. Not focused solely on the story, but the undercurrent of the story. What are the beliefs and emotions that become the lens through which we look at ourselves, others and the world. This lens ultimately determines how we move through the story of our life. The work is to get curious about what beliefs and emotions are driving this outward focus and how can we turn inward so our drive becomes intentional and congruent with our inner being. Therefore, instead of a doing >>> having >>> being approach which leads to burnout, we begin by aligning within our being first and then doing from our being and ultimately having the fulfillment we desire.

Typically, when we slow down enough to be present, every thought and emotion that has been quieted due to our busyness, begins to get louder. Presence allows space for all that we were running from or avoiding - consciously or unconsciously - to surface. Brilliantly, within the problem, exists the solution and is actually the direct pathway back to our birthright - which is presence. What has been living below the surface, what drives us, are usually beliefs from early childhood and memory feelings stored in our bodies. When we are in constant motion, we are less consciously connected to these old patterned beliefs and unprocessed memory feelings and yet they are the driving force behind our thoughts and actions about ourselves, others and the world. When we slow down and intentionally create space for these beliefs and emotions to come into our conscious awareness, we can choose to welcome them as we might an old friend. Simply observing them from a place of courage and curiosity allows us to begin to question whether they are still relevant and helpful in our lives at this particular time.

Certain beliefs and defenses that once protected us when we were very little, oftentimes are the very things that keep us feeling stuck today. And since the brain and nervous system are wired through lived experience, they continue to follow the patterned coping mechanisms that were created very early on to help us feel safe within ourselves, with others and within the world at large. While the truth is, we grew up and can begin to bring our unconscious patterned ways of thinking and behaving into our conscious awareness. And by doing this, we realize that was then and this is now. In this distinction, we have more awareness and choice, knowledge and freedom to learn more adaptive methods of coping, actively rewiring our brain and nervous system into the present. If you are looking for an accelerated way to break free from outdated thought patterns and releasing trapped emotions in order to live a more intentional and present life, I encourage you to tune into your ANS as a way to increase your conscious awareness.