Musings

Sun shining behind clouds I’ve been sitting here, in this liminal space, for a very long time. Watching and listening to the discourse of psychotherapy, different healing modalities, competing theories…and I’ve been silent. Actually, I haven’t been silent. I’ve been pontificating to my clients, my family and to my friends about how it’s all distraction. It’s mind made and it keeps us divided, arguing about differences and debunking different ways of getting to the same core t

“What we resist persists.” “What fires together wires together." These sound like trite sayings, overused, almost cliché. And yet, they endure because they speak to something deeply true about how we are wired as human beings. Where we place our attention, energy and awareness quite literally strengthens neural pathways. And over time, repeated patterns become our baseline way of being. So why not just focus on the positive? Why not simply think about what we want instead of

I've been thinking a lot lately about depth. And how it means something different for each of us. Our levels and capacity of depth differ. So, as you are searching. As you are healing and rediscovering who you are underneath all of the protective layering that was once built to help you feel safe in your body, with your caregivers and within the world, please remember this: people can meet you only at the depth they are capable of being within themselves. It is not a reflecti

ANS Regulation to Authentic Self

Here is a brief introduction to how to begin to reclaim your core authentic self

What if we could rise above conflict? What if we are looking at ourselves, each other and the world from the wrong perspective? I don't mean "wrong" in a punitive, pejorative way. I mean, wrong in a limited way. Imagine a diamond, with many facets. We can choose to look at any one of them and see the jewel from a different perspective. However, when we are in conflict, and our autonomic nervous system is in a state of fight or flight (or shut down), we have limited ability to

Ruptures are a natural part of relationships -- they happen as we are learning one another. And let's be honest, we are constantly learning one another, because each of us brings our own life history (and future hopes and fears) to the present moment. Not to mention our early childhood attachment patterns. And we are always growing and evolving. I would be surprised if there were no moments of miscommunication, misunderstanding, or misalignment in a relationship. If they don’

Are you running away from something? Or are you running toward something? I often gauge if I am moving through life situations based on...

Do you know the difference between emotionality and adaptive emotions? Emotionality keeps us stuck in feelings of overwhelm, while...

We don't love others the way they need to be loved. We love others the way we need to be loved. I'm sure this is not a revolutionary...

What keeps us disconnected from our heart? We've been conditioned to prioritize our brain above all else. And yet, it is our heart that...

What if I tell you we all have it backwards? Upside down? Living our lives from the perspective of doing instead of being . We do , in...

Our autonomic nervous system (ANS) operates as our internal barometer constantly searching for cues of safety and threat - rising and...

There is so much talk about triggers lately. People getting triggered by seemingly everything. When did triggers become a bad thing? No...

I often hear that change is difficult. What happens within you when I write, change isn't difficult, but it is different ? Change implies...

I have been thinking a lot about fear lately. Funny thing fear is, isn't it? It is quite powerful - stops us from being, doing, engaging,...

How do we break through the scab of wounds that feel like they are a second skin? So familiar, perhaps, they feel primary to who we are....

When I share this with clients they are often confronted with a shift in perspective. From looking outwardly for others to meet and...

As I feel into Billy Joel’s reemergence into our collective consciousness, I am reminded that his anthem, “Turn the Lights Back On”, is a...